I just watched a video on YouTube of a man with an absolutely ferocious schedule. He gets up at 3:30 am, works many hours and trains physically several times a day. He is in bed by eight. Now, clearly this man is terribly productive and very healthy, and looks the part. It also sounds like a bloody awful way to live.
I am sure he feels great, every day, and wants you to adopt a similar schedule, so that you too can be as productive as he is. But why? Is the point of our existence to become better and better machines? He will probably live longer than me (though honestly, there is still a lot we don’t know about that) and make much, much more money than me. But where is he going with that? What is the purpose?
My suspicion is that this man will not leave behind anything of lasting value when his ultra-productive life is done. No great books, no works of art, no revolutionary ideas. (I am addressing mostly material things here; perhaps he will leave a legacy of fantastic altruism and a profound impact on those close to him.) This is not to say that such is the sole measure of a human life. But surely, if you are that productive, you would want to leave the world with something more than a plethora of ticked boxes.
This idea that we must be better, better, better is a conceit born of the ego. The obvious downside is that, when you operate from the ego, nothing is ever enough. When you get right down to it, this kind of insane effort is usually a result of some deficiency in your programming (and you should probably look into shadow work).
I have tried being very productive. I have joined the 5 am Club, I have read many, many books on the subject and implemented their techniques, and I have endlessly castigated myself for not having enough motivation and drive and being a lazy bastard. I might even go as far as to say that I have loathed myself for not being more, not living up to my potential (what is that, anyway?). Fortunately, after years of that, I am starting to grow out of it.
I have read many biographies of people who have indeed left a lasting impression on this world. Not a single one has had this focus on crazy productivity. GH Hardy used to work from nine until one, then watched the cricket. A recent Fields medal winner (June Huh) finds it hard to work more than three hours a day. Einstein was famous for playing his violin, sleeping late and generally buggering aimlessly about quite a lot. These people were not lazy, and maximized their time working, but did not feel the need to be superhuman.
Do you want to be the best in your field? If so, why? Look deeply into yourself and ask whether this is not born of fear, of the need to be accepted, to be adulated, to finally win approval. Ask yourself when this is going to be enough. Then go read Moore on your archetypes.
Once, I wanted to be the best. The problem with that is that you will never achieve it, and you will be miserable for the rest of your life. By letting go of that stupid desire, I am actually better than I was before, and so much happier.
Ask yourself what the end-game is. I myself don’t ask for too much, although it is still a lot, I suppose. I want a large part of my time taken up by flaneuring. I want to stroll in an attractive city (with no smartwatch counting my steps) and read a great classic of literature while having absurdly strong coffee. I want to meander in a forest sometimes and go sit on a rock, without necessarily thinking any deep thoughts. I want to come home to my wife and cook a simple but delicious meal, which may even contain some gluten or sugar. I want to have a snifter of whisky without worrying that the next day I might not be Superman. I want to get tipsy sometimes and have absurdly wonderful conversations. Will I always feel as great as that YouTuber? No, and that is perfectly fine, since I will not flagellate myself for not always being optimal.
If that is true, why do I want to hunt down flow? Easy: the more flow I get, the less time I need to spend at my desk. I love working, but a part of coming up with ideas that matter is strolling aimlessly down the sidewalk or in the woods. I want to think deeply on ideas without needing to produce something afterwards – the mere comprehension of a great idea is already a cause for deep inner satisfaction. Truly understanding a scientific or mathematical principle is an inner treasure beyond price.
We live in a fucked-up time. We enjoy unparalleled prosperity in this world. Yes, things may sometimes seem bleak, but honestly, there has never been a better time on earth, according to many metrics (despite the notable things that have gone badly wrong recently). But one reason for that prosperity is that we have had to become rabid consumers. In this consumerist mindset, we have been turning ourselves into products. Just like your iPhone, you need continual upgrades, bells and whistles. I have seen some authority on the internet showing a method of watching television productively by speeding it up until he got to the exciting bits. I think he missed the entire point of television completely.
My final response to all of this is: I’m going to take a nap now. Then, Scotch.
The Flow Diaries 